05/19/2022 Principal's Note

As a school-aged child, you remember the scene. The class rushes out to recess, and as they reach the playground, the chorus begins: "Johnny and Becky, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Or maybe it's the whispering in the hallway: "Did you see what she's wearing today? How can she even leave the house like that?" Perhaps it's at basketball practice and a teammate misses an easy layup or free throw; laughter and jeering erupt from the other players. In all of these scenarios, an "old" saying that has not aged well might come to mind: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

Except they do.

I've worked at schools for long enough to see the damage words can do. I've seen the frustration in a student's body language when classmates tease and won't stop after being asked. I've seen the broken heart written all over a child's face when someone they thought was a friend or teammate utterly betrayed them. We have to stop telling our children that are on the receiving end of these painful experiences that they need to toughen up and not let it bother them. Instead of having the effect we intend, it's actually more harmful when children realize that words DO hurt, and if they are hurt by words when we tell them they shouldn't be, then they simply must not be tough enough.

As if the first-hand experience isn't enough, God plainly tells us that words can hurt. "The words of the reckless pierce like swords" (Proverbs 10:18, NIV 2011). "No human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison" (James 3:8, NIV 2011). Brandishing our words like whips, our sinful nature goads us into beating our fellow human beings into submission, most of the time to make us feel better about ourselves. Think about the examples above. Students teasing each other about "liking" someone? That stems from jealousy. Whispering gossip in the hallway? Insecurity on the part of the gossipers. Teammates mocking a mistake? They feel inadequate in their own skills. Instead of focusing on toughening up our kids to take this verbal and emotional beating, we need to focus on our expectations for our kids when they use their words. God tells us, through the apostle Paul, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" (Ephesians 4:29, NIV 2011). We need to instill in our children that, unless what they are about to say is going to build someone up or benefit them, they dare not speak it; God has commanded that very thing in the 8th Commandment.

Sticks and stones definitely hurt, but so do words, whether they are whispered, shouted, or written digitally. Continue to encourage your children to use their words wisely in the way God commands; it's just one way we can show love to our crucified and risen Savior!

Have a blessed rest of your week.

In Christ,

Principal Bill Fuerstenau